Holiday Custody Schedules: Making the Season Brighter for Your Children
The holidays can be joyful — but for separated or divorced parents, they can also be complicated.
Between school breaks, family expectations, and travel plans, deciding how to share holiday time with your children can quickly become stressful.
The good news? With planning, flexibility, and the right legal guidance, families can create holiday custody schedules that work — not just for parents, but for children who deserve to enjoy the season with both sides of their family.
At the Law Office of Li-Shann Durst, PLLC, we help parents in Ashburn, Loudoun, and Fairfax Counties build custody arrangements that support stability and peace of mind year-round.
The Value of a Written Holiday Schedule
When custody arrangements are vague about holidays, conflicts can arise at the worst possible time.
A clear, written holiday schedule avoids confusion by defining:
Which parent the child will be with on specific holidays
How school breaks, travel, and gift exchanges will be handled
Alternate-year arrangements or split days
Protocols for communication and handoffs
These details give everyone — especially your children — the comfort of knowing what to expect.
Common Approaches to Holiday Custody in Virginia
While every family is different, many Virginia parents choose one of these common structures:
1️⃣ Alternating Holidays: Parents alternate major holidays each year (e.g., Mom gets Thanksgiving in even years, Dad gets Christmas).
2️⃣ Split Holidays: Each holiday is divided between parents — morning with one, evening with the other.
3️⃣ Fixed Traditions: Some families keep certain holidays consistent (e.g., one parent always hosts Christmas Eve).
4️⃣ Shared Time: Parents celebrate together if comfortable, particularly when children are young.
Your plan can be as creative as your family’s traditions — as long as it’s clear, fair, and focused on your child’s needs.
Tips for Peaceful Co-Parenting During the Holidays
✨ Plan Early
Start the conversation weeks in advance to avoid last-minute stress.
✨ Prioritize the Children
Keep the focus on what will make your children feel loved and secure — not on who “gets” a particular day.
✨ Be Flexible
If one parent’s family is visiting from out of town or a child’s activity falls on your day, try to accommodate when possible.
✨ Respect Boundaries
Follow agreed-upon times and avoid showing frustration in front of the kids.
✨ Keep Communication Open and Civil
Written communication (texts or email) can help keep arrangements clear and minimize misunderstandings.
Adjusting Schedules as Children Grow
A holiday plan that works for a 6-year-old may not suit a teenager. As children’s needs evolve, so should the parenting plan.
If both parents agree, you can revise your existing custody order through negotiation or mediation.
If circumstances change significantly — such as relocation or new family dynamics — a formal custody modification may be necessary.
Want the Holidays to Feel Peaceful Again?
If you’re struggling to create or follow a holiday custody schedule, professional guidance can make all the difference.
📞 Contact the Law Office of Li-Shann Durst at (703) 443-4762 or schedule a confidential consultation.
We’ll help you build a plan that supports your children’s joy — and your peace of mind — this holiday season.
Disclaimer
This article is for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice. Every case is unique. Please consult an attorney for advice specific to your situation.